And the winners are…
Cynthia Sher – HIM
Dr. Schultz – MD
Margie Odendahl – Nursing
Becky Baumann – HIM
Taylor Rudd – Radiology
Vicki Milbradt – Environmental Services
Cindy Teichroew – Infection Prevention
Wanda Nelson – Nursing
Deb Harms – Environmental Services
Pam Novak – HIM
Barb Ennis – NP
Some creative creations…
Taylor Rudd:
Givahoot (instagrat)
When you come home at the end of the day or get done with a long shift at work, you want to relax and unwind. Suddenly, there’s a knock at your door or your cell phone starts ringing. This person wants to share some new and gossip, or complain about their day and you have not energy left to carry on the conversation or even act interested. Does this situation sound familiar to you? That’s when you take Givahoot!
Take one pill of Givahoot will give you a quick burst of spunkiness to carry on that not-so-important conversation with anyone you come in contact with. Don’t’ want your neighbors or in-law to think you’re rude for not wanting to talk? Smile as you pop one Givahoot in your mouth and relax knowing this drug can give you the patient and emotion to converse with others. One does of Givahoot will last approximately 10-15 minutes and you’ll know the effects are near the end when you get a strong boost of confidence that allows you to politely end your conversation, which we know isn’t always east.
So, do you want to complete your day and still act interested in your mother-in-law’s birthday party for her cat? Order your sample of Givahoot today.
(Studies have shown that this pill works best in the state of Minnesota, where people are known to be too nice and have good-byes that last for at least 30 minutes.)
Margie O:
Brand: Selfesteem
Generic: iwannawork
Purpose: Intended for the age group 16-25 to encourage them to work a job until they finish their education.
Mechanism of action: psychological
Side effects: decreased desire to play video games, increase communication skills, decreased need for recreational drugs due to increased self-esteem/worth, decreased suicidal ideation due to increase self-worth/esteem, and weight loss due to increased desire for physical activity
Dr. Matt Schultz:
Brand: Café-go (not to be confused with Cafergot)
Generic: cafinimab
Mechanism of action: binds the active metabolites of caffeine
Use: Take 1 capsule 30 minutes before bedtime and the caffeine and its effects resolve. Allows caffeine addicts to continue to use caffeine right up until bedtime, then remove it from the system to be able to sleep and rest peacefully until morning. Half-life is 4-6 hours so the effects wear off by early morning. The caffeine addict can then resume normal morning caffeine consumption.
Side effects: May precipitate migraines. May cause excessive sedation for those who depend on caffeine to function.
Cynthia Sher:
Brand: Tallerme
Generic: vertices
Use: A pill you take once a month that makes you 4 inches taller in a year.
Vicki Milbradt:
Brand: Whatnottowear
Generic: neverwearstripes
Commonly used by persons that are at least 10 pounds overweight. Prevents users from wearing horizontal stripes for any reasons other than begin in a maximum security facility.
Taking a half dose allows user to wear thin, narrow stripes.
Side effects: Shopping for clothes is more difficult as there is an overabundance of striped garments in stores. Makes users stay away from malls. Users may become attracted to large patterns.
Jeanelle Archambeau:
Brand: Yawnstop
Feeling tired on that last long stretch before end of shift? Take Yawnstop, it will stop those dreary yawns in their tracks. Feel like you just need to sleep after eating too much at lunch at work? Try Yawnstop, it will stop those mid-day yawns; and, as we all know, they are contagious so by taking this you are doing your co-workers a favor by saving them from your yawns as well.
Becky Baumann:
Brand: Attitude Adjustment
Generic: dontwannagetgrounded
Use: stop the unwanted reactions of: eye-rolling, spontaneous outburst of “whatever”, arm crossing, tantrums, etc. that children and teenagers give parents for numerous reasons.
Recommendations: can be used as a daily preventative or as needed for immediate adjustment.
Side effects: this drug has been known to have the lasting effects of kindness and respect when used as a daily preventative for up to months at a time after medication has been discontinued. Some patient have also experience involuntary use of the phrases “Yes Ma’am”, “Yes Sir”, “Please”, and “Thank you”. Some patients have also noted after long-term use that they are able to complete tasks such as: dishes, laundry, picking up after themselves, and taking out the garbage without having to be asked.